Friday, December 09, 2005
Top 6 Friday - The Simpsons
This weeks we run through our Top 6 episodes in Simpsons history. We accept that making such a list is close to impossible, but these are the 6 that came to mind first. Unsurprisingly, Homer features heavily in all of these episodes. 6. Marge vs Monorail Mr Burns is fined $3m dollars for illegally dumping nuclear waste in the local park. The town decide to spend the money on a monorail and Homer ends up as the driver. Best bits include Homers version of the Flintstones theme tune, the monorail song and Leonard Nimoy's appearance. Memorable quotes Marge: According to this book, the monorail goes over 150 miles an hour! What if something goes wrong? Homer: ``What if.'' What if I stepped in the shower and slipped on a bar of soap? ... Oh, my God! I'd get killed! Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you Homer: Batman? Marge: No, he's a scientist Homer: Batman's a scientist? Marge: It's not Batman! 5. Secrets of a successful marriage In this episode Homer gets a job teaching Springfield locals the secrets to a successful marriage. However, unable to keep their attention, he resorts to telling the class the intimate details of his and Marge's relationship. Best bits include Homer bearing his soul to the Krusty Burger drive-thru, Moe's attempt to get Marge when she throws Homer out, Homer replacing Marge with a potted plant. Memorable quotes Homer: Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden. Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your class. Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge: Today at the Kwik-E-Mart everybody knew I dyed my hair! Homer: Oh, you mean about you. All right, maybe I said some things, some personal things. But you should have seen them, Marge: they really wanted to hear what I had to say Marge: Mmm, I'm happy about that. But I think you can be a good teacher and still respect our privacy. Homer: Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. _I'm_ the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! _You're_ out of order. The whole freaking _system_ is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown. Marge: Homer, don't _ever_ tell them personal stuff about me again! Homer: [meek] Yes ma'am. 4. Much Apu about nothing This episode begins with a grizzly bear 'terrorizing' the neighbourhood and progresses to an attempt to deport all illegal immigrants in Springfield due to rising taxes. Highlights include the ridiculously over the top bear patrol, Homer's attempt to teach Apu about American history and Chief WIggums deportation preparations at the docks. Memorable quotes Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax Lisa: That's the home owner tax Moe: You know what really aggravazes me? It's them immigants. They wants all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain't even bother to learn themselves the language. Homer: Hey, those are exactly my sentimonies. Barney: [babbles] Moe: Yeah, you said it Barn. Chief Wiggum: All right, men, here's the order of deportations. First we'll be rounding up your tired, then your poor, then your huddled masses yearning to breathe free... 3. Cape Feare This is far and away the best of Sideshow Bob episode. The episode begins with Bob sending Bart threatening letters written in blood. When Bob gets parole the Simpsons go into the witness protection agency, changing the name to the Thompsons. This is just comedic genius from start to finish. Highlights include Bob's parole hearing ("Nobody that speaks German could be evil"), the rake scene, Homer's new chainsaw and hockey mask, the 'Hello Mr Thompson' scene, and Bart stalling Bob by getting him to sing the entire score of the H.M.S Pinifore. Memorable quotes Homer (opening one of Bobs threatening letters) : Oh my God, somebody's trying to kill me! (Relieved) Oh, wait, it's for Bart. Laywer: Well, what about that tatoo on your chest? Doesn't it say Die, Bart, Die? Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for 'The Bart, The." Parole Judge: No one who speaks German can be an evil man! Parole Granted! 2. Homer the Great Homer discovers a secret society in Springfield, the Stonecutters. Having become a member, Homer desecrates the Stonecutters sacred parchment. However before he can be banned he turns out to be the Chosen One, whom the parchment foretold would lead the Stonecutters to glory. Best bits include Homer spying on Lenny and Carl, the Stonecutter's initiation ceremony and of course the Stonecutters song Memorable quotes Homer: I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff! And I want in. Moe's objection to the oath - Homer: And by the sacred parchment, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, may my stomach become bloated and my head be plucked of all but three hairs -- Moe: Um, I think he should have to take a different oath.) 1. Homer goes to college This episode does exactly what it says on the tin. Homer heads to college to get the qualification he needs to keep his job. However his idea of campus life is based solely on cliched movies and TV shows, where jocks continuously give nerds a hard time and the cool kids are in a constant battle with some 'crusty old dean'. Absolutely hilarious from beginning to end. Best bits include the inspection of the Nuclear plant, Homer guarding the bee, Homer's first lecture("out with the old and in with the nucleas"), Homer demonstrating the proton accelerator the wallet inspector and Sir Oinks-a-lot. Memorable Quotes Nerd 2 (Asking about the final exam): What are you going to do, Mr. Simpson? Homer: Actually, I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out. Homer: Marge try to understand, there are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time. Nerd 2: Oh, man, I can't believe you failed. Homer: [whining] Oh, I'm going to lose my job just 'cause I'm dangerously unqualified! Nerd 2: Mr. Simpson, there is a way. We could -- well, use a computer to change your grade. Homer: [surprised] Computers can do that? Nerd 2: Well, yes...the only problem is the moral dilemma it raises, which requires -- [Homer hugs and kisses one of the computers] Homer: Oh, I love -- moral whuzzah?