Munster Facts

David Wallace sold his soul to the devil for his superhuman strength and unparalleled rugby ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wally dump tackled the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Jerry Flannery doesn't see dead people, he makes people see dead.

The chief export of Marcus Horan is pain.

After much debate, President Bush decided to send the U.S. Marines to Iraq rather than the alternative of sending Donncha O'Callaghan. It was more "humane".

Anthony foley's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

Before each match he plays, Paul O'Connel is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of opposition players.

When Dennis Leamy does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Marcus Horan is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Anthony Foley's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Paul O'Connel can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Dennis Leamy will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

David Wallace once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

Trevor Halstead can slam a revolving door.

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Donncha O'Callaghan for help.

Jerry Flannery does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. He goes killing.

Ghosts are actually caused by Dennis Leamy killing people faster than Death can process them.

Donncha O'Callaghan frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

John Hayes puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Anthony Foley has to maintain a concealed weapon license in order to legally wear pants.

Ronan O'Gara counted to infinity - twice.

When Paul O'Connel exercises, the machine gets stronger.

When David Wallace sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. He has not had to pay taxes ever.

Peter Stringer owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

If you see Dennis Leamy crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

Paul O'Connel was once on Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Jerry Flannery. He doesn't have to.

Anthony Foley has only one hand: the upper hand.

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Peter Stringer open you would find another Peter Stringer inside, only smaller and angrier.

Marcus Horan's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Marcus Horan.

Paul O'Connel, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Paul O'Connel, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Donncha O'Callaghan and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Ian Dowling.

Anthony Foley's dog is trained to pick up his own sh*t because Anthony Foley will not take sh*t from anyone.

When Dennis Leamy gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

David Wallace was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

Trevor Halstead's sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill and a brick wall in order to impregnate a woman. So you can be damn sure he can penetrate Leinster's defensive line.

The only reason the Energizer Bunny keeps going and going is because it knows Paul O'Connel is after it.

Jerry Flannery doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs